R.A. + R.B.

Officially, I lost my virginity when my hymen broke in a freak accident with the ledge of a pool. The damage was done – fast, hard uneventful. But my most memorable sexual experience happened several years later. I was eleven when I fell for him.

Raggedy Andy was a life size, handcrafted rag doll who had been around since I could remember, but on this particular day I looked across the room into his black embroidered eyes, and something came over me. Always dressed to impress, he looked dashing in his red and blue double-breasted polyester pantsuit and that sailor's hat he wore. Why hadn’t I noticed him before? Sometimes what you’re looking for is sitting right there on top of your dresser. I could no longer ignore his constant gaze, and, suddenly, I understood what he wanted, because I wanted it too.

I walked over to him and, without a word, flung him into my arms. He surrendered to the touch of my lips against his permanent grin. What the hell was he grinning at? I didn’t care, it turned me on. I ripped off his sailor hat and ran my fingers violently through his bright mop of red yarn, tugging and pulling violently. His clothes were conveniently attached with Velcro; I tore them off in a passionate rage, threw him on my bed, tore off my own clothes and let him have his way. Raggedy Andy was in control, I was overcome by feelings of sheer ecstasy.

Andy was anatomically incomplete, but we were not about to let an oversight at the factory ruin this moment. I looked up and saw a fist size Ziggy sitting on my night stand wearing a tee-shirt that read "Happy Easter". Happy Easter indeed! I doused Ziggy in the Johnson's Baby Oil I had stored at arms length and placed him strategically between Andy's legs. Problem solved.

Suddenly, a paralysis came over me. The world stood still, my body twitched and my vision blurred as I dropped breathless next to Andy, my heart beating in my ears – La petite mort!

While I lay silently next to Raggedy Andy, I noticed a red heart with the words ‘I love you' embroidered on his chest. Such craftsmanship, such detail! I love you too Andy, I love you too.

Some time later, we stopped meeting that way. We could never quite recapture the magic of that first encounter. It was a romance destined for failure, I see that now. He was a rag doll, settled, content. My life soon changed. I joined the volleyball team where we would go on to win the C division championships. I never regret the times we spent together, but it’s hard to see him these days. I've since moved away. He still lives in my bedroom at my parents' house, perched on that dresser, sporting that same grin. I've been replaced by Raggedy Ann, who sits constantly by his side. I'm a jealous woman, but I've come to accept them. We'll always have that passionate evening marked by the baby oil stain no laundering or stain remover could ever erase. Our little secret.

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